


in between the raindrops

by chatsdelune (greymooses)



Series: golden-verse [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Abuse of italics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Domestic Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M for language and references to sex but no real smut here sorry, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Sharing a Bed, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, i am physically incapable of anything else, it's really not that angsty but they need some conflict for plot purposes, physical manifestations of Feelings are my worst nightmare, seungkwan gets the sads, so. much. bed sharing., tiny jeongcheol ref, uhh top vernon is mentioned in passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26568946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greymooses/pseuds/chatsdelune
Summary: it's on a monday in the middle of september that hansol's sense of normalcy is thrown into a blender because of his roommate.again.according to seungkwan, it’s on a monday in the middle of september that his boyfriend’s fatefinallycatches up with his own.two sides of the same coin, really.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Chwe Hansol | Vernon & Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: golden-verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942252
Comments: 13
Kudos: 177





	in between the raindrops

**Author's Note:**

> the tags make this look so messy and sad and it's really not. thanks to vernon's spotify playlist for the title, from [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZd-t5-I5uA). this fic is like. a massive spoiler for something else, but. we're pretending that's not the case, because i really didn't want to wait to post it.
> 
> something about soulmates fics screams non-linear narrative to me, so this is two timelines, in case you missed it in the tags. one covers bits of the past, and one covers a single day in the present.

_ five months ago _

"seungkwan, what the fuck?" hansol half shouts, one-hundred percent exasperated, to make sure he's heard over the sound of the water.

"i really have to piss."

hansol sees his new roommate's fuzzy outline enter and walk to the toilet. "i'm _in the shower_ ," he complains, loudly, in utter disbelief. he turns to face the back wall, which leaves his ass exposed, but it's better than nothing.

"okay, and?"

"we just met _yesterday_."

he hears the seat clatter against the tank, and seungkwan says, "you're my soulmate. i don't care if you see my dick."

"you don't know that and i care if you see mine!"

"one, it's definitely you, i can feel it. two, i'll see it eventually."

"oh my god, _get out!_ "

seungkwan lets out an exaggerated sigh. "you're so melodramatic. are you sure you're not a theater major?"

"boo seungkwan, so help me—"

"i'm going, i'm going," he says, then the sink turns on and hansol almost blows a gasket.

" _wash your hands in the kitchen!_ "

"oops."

——

hansol finds seungkwan at their tiny dining table. he's wearing shorts, and hansol's eyes are drawn to the puzzle piece on his thigh. it's a new development, allegedly. he's still wrapping his head around seungkwan's insistence it's for him.

"we need to talk about boundaries."

seungkwan folds his hands on the table. "if you insist."

he honestly wasn't expecting that, and he stumbles accordingly. "we— you can't just—"

"you're right. next time i'll piss in the kitchen sink."

"keep a fucking bottle in your room, or _hold it_ like a normal person?"

"a _bottle_. you underestimate me."

hansol wants to _strangle_ him. figuratively, because violence is never the answer. "look, just please at least _knock_. and we're splitting the cost of a thicker shower curtain."

"if that'll make you happy."

"thank you."

——

it lasts about two weeks.

in retrospect, it's hansol's fault his knocking rule fails. they were talking about the bathroom, and he never specified it should apply to his bedroom as well — primarily because he considered it obvious.

it wasn't.

he's in bed, doing reading for his childhood psychology class, when the door opens and seungkwan strolls in. he walks right up to the bed, tugs at hansol's ankles to straighten his legs, and flops onto the mattress next to him, all without a word. he's wearing shorts and a tank top, and every exposed bit of skin is presumably extremely soft, given all the expensive moisturizer in their bathroom.

"um, hi?"

"i can't sleep."

he sounds so pitiful that hansol doesn't have it in him to complain, just lifts his blankets so seungkwan can pull them over himself. "you'd better not be a blanket hog, and don't touch me with your toes."

"okay," he agrees, all the while swinging a leg over hansol's thighs. to his credit, he makes sure his foot clears both of hansol's shins.

he reads for another five minutes, but doesn't retain much of it. seungkwan's breathing has evened out, he's radiating warmth, and hansol is suddenly very tired. there's no hope of reaching his bedside table, so he stuffs his book between his mattress and the wall and stretches his arms behind his head.

"you shouldn't sleep like that," seungkwan mumbles. "it's not good for your neck or shoulders."

"i _will_ kick you out."

seungkwan ignores him. "speaking of neck pain, what is this pillow?"

"fine for me."

"yeah, because you sleep on your arms."

"feel free to not use it."

hansol of course means _feel free to leave_ , but seungkwan parses it as _feel free to use me instead_ and squirms closer. hansol watches, dumbstruck, as an arm wraps around his middle.

it's kind of nice, though.

***

_  
present   
_

hansol wakes to an empty bed. sunlight peeks around the edges of his curtains, but one squinted glance at his phone tells him it's still way too early. seungkwan almost never wakes up before him, and even when he does, he takes it as an opportunity — and personal challenge — to give hansol a stellar blowjob.

something's up.

he finds his boyfriend in the kitchen, singing quietly. he shuffles up behind him and mutters a "hey" so as to avoid scaring him, then wraps his arms around seungkwan's middle.

seungkwan has days where he retreats into himself. starting a relationship with your roommate is great for having as much sex as you can physically handle, but being together all the time isn't always easy, even if you're confirmed soulmates. or one of you is.

hansol still doesn't have a tattoo.

seungkwan says it doesn't bother him anymore, but on days like this, hansol knows it does. it bothers him, too.

"i love you, you know," hansol tells him, resting his chin on seungkwan's shoulder. and he does, so incredibly deeply that it threatens to swallow him if he thinks about it too much.

"you, too."

"do you want to talk about it?"

seungkwan shakes his head, moves his chopsticks around the pan of eggs too slowly to properly scramble them.

"do you need space or attention?"

"space, i think."

"okay. i can go work in the library today, but one text and i'll drop everything."

"i know. thank you."

hansol kisses him on the cheek before releasing him and heading back to his room to gather his books. he can get breakfast on the way.

***

_  
four months ago   
_

hansol doesn't know where he stands on the whole soulmates thing.

weird. it's weird.

hansol doesn't _think_ seungkwan is secretly planning their wedding or anything. from what he remembers, tattoos can show up whenever they want — it's not always as fast as it was for seungkwan. no one knows why; it hasn't been studied so much as accepted for decades to be the way it is.

he _does_ try to get to know hansol at alarming speed, though, and treats their eventual, fated relationship — as he sees it — very casually. "soulmate" is as commonly used as his name, as is "vernonie" — picked up after stalking all of hansol's social media and finding some old, embarrassing rap demos.

he knocks on the bathroom door only half the time. he's continued to invite himself into hansol's bed when he can't sleep, which happens at least once every few days. he insists on going grocery shopping together.

and he started leaving notes around the apartment when their schedules don't line up: _eat the leftovers on the top shelf_ , on the refrigerator when hansol gets home from class on thursdays because seungkwan knows he won't want to cook; _hope you had a good day_ , on the bathroom mirror when he has a closing shift at the coffee shop; _let's watch a movie this weekend_ , next to the hooks where they leave their keys if it's been a couple of days since they had time to hang out; _sleep well_ , on his bedroom door when he comes home unexpectedly late.

the last one is the worst, and makes hansol feel guilty for a reason he can't pinpoint.

——

hansol takes a long sip from his beer, because god, he needs it. he puts the bottle down and swallows, then says, "you're telling me you lost your virginity to someone and don't know their full name?"

jihoon shrugs.

"who are you?"

"someone who was very tired of not having classes and papers as a distraction anymore."

"honestly, disappointed you didn't ask me. i would've taken one for the team," hansol says, gesturing between the two of them.

jihoon scrunches his face up in disgust. "i've seen you eat dirt and dance drunk and naked on a pool table. thanks, but no thanks."

hansol has been friends with jihoon since they were kids. they have a small friend group that gets together once a week, now that hansol is the only one left in university, but he still meets up with jihoon randomly. 

"how's your roommate?" jihoon asks. "what's his name again?"

"seungkwan. he's… challenging," hansol replies. he's always told jihoon everything, but telling him about seungkwan's tattoo hasn't felt right.

"i can't tell if that's good or bad."

"a little of both, maybe."

"you _like_ him."

and maybe hansol gets a kick out of seungkwan's vitamin collection and the pilates that he insists on doing in the middle of the living room, and yeah, he thinks his ass is incredible, but he would also really love to leave a wet towel in the bathroom for two minutes without seungkwan honing in on it like a missile and nagging him, so he says, "i don't think so."

"you've got that same doe-eyed, far-away look that hyung used to have right after he met jeonghan."

"that's literally just my face."

jihoon squints at him for a solid ten seconds, then sighs. "fine."

——

they're watching a movie on a saturday night. seungkwan usually clings but he hasn't tonight, and he's not asking hansol for any of his thoughts, either. he's just curled up in a ball on the other side of the couch.

it's driving him crazy.

he thinks about what jihoon said all the time. that weekend, he had watched seungcheol talk about jeonghan and wondered if he looked that soft talking about seungkwan. he doesn't know what jihoon saw, but a couple of weeks later and he's wondering if _seungkwan_ sees it, too.

he pauses the movie and seungkwan looks over, his expression confused in the light from the television.

"are you okay?" hansol asks.

"i don't know. are we?" seungkwan replies, emphasizing the _we_ of it all.

"yes?" he says.

"we know each other pretty well by now, right?"

they do, hansol thinks — seungkwan has sworn off peanuts, knows his class and work schedule better than his own, knows his favorite songs and movies and brand of ramen. hansol knows that if he brings seungkwan an americano after his morning shift on tuesdays, he'll act like he doesn't care, but he'll whisper a thank you against the back of hansol's neck when he thinks he's fallen asleep that night — so he nods.

"i know i did something wrong. you're being weird."

"you didn't do anything wrong," hansol tells him, and it's technically the truth but he feels terrible about it. "is that why you've been over there all night?"

seungkwan stares at his fingernails, pout he gets when he's thinking firmly in place. "i'm tired. can we finish the movie some other time?"

not "tomorrow", not "next week", not any definite time frame, which isn't normal.

"yeah, whenever."

he unfolds himself from the couch and says, "good night, hansol."

not "soulmate", not "vernonie", not anything resembling affectionate.

he leaves, and hansol rubs his hands over his thighs. he resolves to forget about what jihoon said entirely.

——

the next morning, seungkwan is fine.

he apologizes for being "silly" — his word — and tells hansol that it happens sometimes.

on the way out the door, coffee in hand, he gives hansol an obnoxiously loud peck on the cheek and says, "have a good day, soulmate."

so they're back to normal, then.

***

_  
present   
_

hansol finds a secluded table in the back of the library, away from the door and the circulation desk. it's early, so he has plenty of quiet and room to spread out. he doesn't have anything that he _needs_ to work on, but he has a couple of papers he _can_ work on.

he makes sure to plug his phone in and set it on the table in case seungkwan wants him to come home. hansol can't exactly say he doesn't prefer it when he asks for space. sometimes, seungkwan just wants to sit with his feelings, and hansol gets fidgety when he can't help. he always bounces back, but hansol worries anyway.

for now, he tries to push it away. he has coffee, snacks, and his headphones — everything he needs until seungkwan needs him.

***

_  
three months ago   
_

hansol rounds the corner that leads to the dead end corridor where seungkwan's class should have just let out and stops in his tracks. he'd recognize seungkwan's body anywhere, and he spots it at the end of the hall, partially obstructing a taller guy. they seem to only be talking, but the guy's attention is focused entirely on seungkwan and he keeps smiling and hansol can hear seungkwan laugh at something he says.

his stomach sinks.

it's not that he's _jealous_ — he doesn't have a right to be — and while the guy's hair is all swoopy and his clothes are nice and he's objectively extremely handsome, he's not really envious or anything.

he just has an uncontrollable urge to walk up and very pointedly wrap his arm around seungkwan's waist.

he also sort of wants to be sick.

the guy leans down to whisper something in seungkwan's ear and hansol's feet move on their own. he reaches seungkwan's side as he laughs again. it dies out when hansol's fingers tentatively land on his lower back.

"hey, you ready?" he asks, looking only at seungkwan's face.

he turns his head, startled for a moment, then smiles softly at him. "yeah, i was waiting for you." to the guy, he says, "i'll see you later."

hansol waits until they're out of the building to drop his hand.

seungkwan looks at him again. "what was _that_ about?"

"what was what about?"

"you slink away when i try to hold your hand in public, then you come up behind me and — oh my god, were you _jealous_?"

hansol scoffs. "why would i be? you insist i'm your soulmate on a regular basis."

"i mean, that's what i'm wondering."

"i just wanted to get home."

"if you say so, vernonie," seungkwan says, clearly not convinced.

——

seungkwan climbs into his bed that night.

he's totally given up on knocking, not that he ever did it much to begin with.

hansol has given up on completely closing his door.

seungkwan doesn't pretend it's because he can't sleep, not anymore. they skirt any serious discussion of soulmates, but hansol thinks that's probably the real reason seungkwan wants to sleep with him, even if he himself doesn't realize it, so he lets him. it's the least he can do, since he can't give seungkwan the answers he wants.

hansol replaced his pillows months ago, at seungkwan's insistence. he lifts an arm and lets seungkwan curl up against his side anyway, settles it around his back and runs his fingers into seungkwan's hair. he sighs and nuzzles his face against hansol's chest.

"you don't have anything to be jealous about," he mumbles into the fabric of hansol's shirt.

"i told you, i wasn't."

"would it be the end of the world?"

being jealous, having feelings, getting a matching tattoo — hansol isn't really sure what he's talking about, but the answer's the same for all of it: "no."

seungkwan raises himself up on an elbow. "you'd tell me if you got a tattoo, right?"

he doesn't know if it's the way seungkwan bites his lip, or his worried eyes, or the cautious tone he uses when he asks the question, but something shifts inside of him. "of course i would."

"out of obligation." he's pinching a bit of hansol's shirt between his fingers, right over his stomach.

hansol slides his thumb over seungkwan's cheek, lets himself really see all the soft edges of his face. he locks eyes with him to make sure seungkwan knows he means it when he says, "no."

"oh." it's nothing more than a whisper in an exhale. his eyes dart to hansol's mouth, so briefly he wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't intentionally maintaining eye contact. "can—"

hansol cuts him off with a nod, because he'd give seungkwan anything he wanted right now.

seungkwan leans down, rests his forehead against hansol's, closes his eyes, and exhales shakily. truth be told, hansol has no idea how he's outwardly calm, because his insides are possibly on fire. it's only a pause, a tiny moment to back out if this isn't what he wants. he appreciates it, but he doesn't need it, so he closes his eyes and meets seungkwan's lips with his own.

and okay, hansol definitely feels something, and it's closer to the last person he was in love with than anyone he's kissed out of boredom, but the part he wants to commit to memory is seungkwan's breathing, and the way he immediately sinks against hansol's chest. he forces his arm between hansol's head and pillow like if he doesn't have something to hold onto he'll float away.

hansol kisses him slowly, sucks gently at his bottom lip, keeps all tongues out of the equation because he really hopes there will be a repeat of this moment and for now all he wants to do is exactly what they're doing. sometimes he breaks away just to push seungkwan's hair back, or rub their noses together, or kiss another part of his face. it's fine until he kisses the apples of seungkwan's cheeks and they're wet.

hansol licks his lips and tastes salt. he opens his eyes immediately and frowns. "you're crying."

seungkwan rolls his eyes and sticks his bottom lip out, wet and a little swollen and incredibly enticing now that hansol knows what it feels like. "yeah, well, this is a lot. i think the whole soulmate thing…"

"so what you're saying is it's definitely me." hansol grins. he can't help it.

"i've been saying that for months," seungkwan huffs, laying his head on hansol's shoulder.

"i might've been jealous."

"i know. do you believe you have no reason to be, now?"

"might need more convincing."

"god, i spent all this time wanting this? should've known you'd be trouble."

"shh. we have to be up early," hansol replies, petting seungkwan's hair. "sleep time."

——

seungkwan sleeps with him the majority of the time, after that.

hansol holds him off for about a week before the completely innocent but adoring touches and seungkwan's tongue wear him down. he gets seungkwan on his hands and knees and fucks him so hard hansol can't see straight when he comes, then gives him the attention he actually deserves an hour later.

once or twice a week, he'll decide to sleep in his own room. hansol pretends to not realize those nights correspond to the days he wears shorts.

***

_  
present   
_

he finishes one paper, gets an outline done for his second, and listens to the same three albums twice all the way through before seungkwan texts him. it's one word: _okay._

he shoves everything into his bag, stuffs his phone in his pocket, and is out the door in less than two minutes.

the apartment is dark when he gets back. he kicks his shoes off and drops his bag in his room — also dark — before heading to seungkwan's. the door is mostly closed, but unlatched. because he's not a heathen, he knocks lightly anyway. "kwannie?"

"yeah, you can come in." he's curled up in bed with his tablet. the first thing hansol notices is how puffy his face is. his chest _aches_. seungkwan smiles at him, a thin line, but he seems more relaxed than earlier.

"i need a shower, but i wanted to check on you."

seungkwan nods. "it's okay, go shower."

***

_  
one month ago   
_

"i'm so tired of this fight."

he doesn't even know how it _started_ , just knows that they've been arguing in circles for the last ten minutes. they've had little disagreements about hansol's nonexistent tattoo, but never anything like this.

"i'm tired of being patient."

"i _love_ you, seungkwan. i'm head-over-fucking-heels in love with you. why does it _matter_?"

"all my mother wants is to see me as happy as she is, with the person that i _belong_ to."

his mother. of course. seungkwan's biggest weakness, aside from hansol. he points at seungkwan's thigh. "is that not mine?"

seungkwan scoffs. "you know what i mean. don't be purposefully obtuse."

"i can't just _make_ one appear," hansol growls, throwing his hands up. "if i could, i would."

"i _know_ , i just…"

"do you doubt it's mine?" hansol asks quietly.

"no," he replies without missing a beat.

"then why do we keep doing this?"

"because it's not _enough_."

"you're being unfair and you know it. it's not like i have one for someone else."

seungkwan sniffles. "it's unfair that you don't know what it's like."

"what?"

"your soulmate loving you," he mumbles.

"seungkwannie, i know you love me. i don't need the universe to tell me that."

"yeah, but it's different. more."

hansol, seeing a small crack in seungkwan's armor, widens his eyes for comedic effect. " _more_ love from you? what am i going to do with it all?"

"shut up," he replies, but there's no venom in it.

"does this come with more or less nagging about my wet towels?" hansol pushes.

seungkwan lightly knocks his chest with the side of his fist, but his expression softens. "i love you, but i hate this."

"i know you do. i do, too."

"i know. i'm sorry."

"are we okay?" hansol asks carefully.

"yeah, we're okay."

***

_  
present   
_

hansol grabs a change of clothes from his room. in the bathroom, he turns the water in the shower a bit warmer than usual to counteract the tension in his shoulders, then starts peeling off his clothes.

the thing about soulmate tattoos is they don't always show up in the same spot on you and your soulmate. hansol has made it a habit to check himself in the mirror any time he's missing an article of clothing, always ending in at least a little disappointment. but he does it anyway — starts with his shoulders and back, scanning for any new marks down the backs of his legs before inspecting his front.

his mouth falls open when he gets to his thighs.

his heart maybe stops, it's really hard to tell, because all he can focus on is the puzzle piece, exactly like seungkwan's, in exactly the same spot. he can hear the running water, but for a moment nothing matters — not the water, not the fact that he's standing naked in the bathroom, not the fact that seungkwan is waiting for him. he presses at the mark with his fingertips, almost expecting it to rub off, but it doesn't.

a shiver runs through him and he finally steps into the shower. his hands move on autopilot, his thoughts completely occupied with the tattoo. this means… he doesn't know what it means. nothing changes, not really. he'll never kiss another person, but he didn't want to do that anyway.

he takes his time getting dressed again, almost afraid if he covers the tattoo it'll disappear.

he shuffles back to seungkwan's room. without a word, he pulls seungkwan's knees away from his chest and slides into bed next to him, lifting his arm away from his tablet to create an opening for his head. he opens his mouth to protest, so hansol kisses him instead. seungkwan drops the tablet on the bed, brings both arms around his shoulders and hikes a leg over his waist, pressing his heel impatiently into hansol's lower back like he had been away for days instead of hours.

hansol uses a hand on seungkwan's face to push their lips apart. "wait. hang on." he's nearly panting, trying to get oxygen into his lungs with heavy breaths, because seungkwan was right. everywhere they're touching, every part of him feels like he's flying into the sun.

"are you okay?"

"how did you— do you— oh my god."

"you're shaking," seungkwan loosens his grip and pulls away, running his hand over hansol's side and chest, concerned.

"tattoo. i got it, and—" he cuts himself off with a choked sob. he _never_ cries.

seungkwan's face morphs from concern to shock. "you what? when?"

hansol rolls onto his back and lifts his hips to slide his pants down. "bathroom. it's there, right? it didn't disappear?" he closes his eyes, but eventually feels seungkwan's fingers on his leg, hears his shallow breathing.

"yeah. huh."

hansol snorts. "that's all you have to say?"

seungkwan's smiling, but his cheeks are wet. hansol pulls him down onto the bed again. he trails lips up hansol's arm, over his shoulder to his neck, pressing them lightly against his skin as he goes. "it's about time?" he says when he's done.

hansol rubs small circles into his hip, just under his shirt. "you know, we could get a different apartment. one bedroom, maybe a nicer kitchen."

"mm, we could," seungkwan agrees. a few moments of silence later, he bolts upright in bed and narrows his eyes at him. "where'd you leave your towel?"

hansol laughs. seungkwan flicks his chest, then pushes him out of bed.

nothing is going to change, and that's fine with him.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this was as fun to read as it was to write? i love them very much and now if you'll excuse me i'll be peeling myself off the deluluville train for the next two days.


End file.
